Archive for the ‘The Rules’ Category

Heading Out Solo

Saturday, April 6th, 2013

Some of my best nights in the club are when I am solo. Alone, but not ‘lonely’ as they say. This may sound strange, but it is definitely true.

Why is this? It seems you would do better with your friends, or a ‘wing man’, and of course this is true often enough. But there is something about being out there by myself that gets my blood pumping.

So, what are some ideas or tips I have on this subject?

• Just do it. I don’t care if your friend bails on you at 8pm, it doesn’t matter that you have to drive 30 minutes all by your lonesome. Just get out there. Hey, if you stay home you know what will happen – nothing! At least if you get out there you can stir the pot a little, and maybe get into a little ‘good’ trouble. [Note. This is speaking from a guy’s standpoint of course. In theory I think the same should apply to women. However, I would clearly suggest that women tame more precaution when out alone.]
• Find a guy to talk to. Yes, I am straight and very secure in my sexuality, so I can say this. Why put pressure on yourself to meet a lady right away. Maybe meet a guy or two, who knows, you may find a new wing man. I remember being at one of my favorite clubs Blue Martin several months back. I was solo. I noticed a cool European looking guy at the bar. We started chatting, hung out. I met a new friend, Cengiz from Turkey. When I left Cengiz it was around 2 and my last view of him was as he was sandwiched between two 30something babes on the dance floor. I was definitely glad I went out solo that night.
• Give yourself a goal to have at least one meaningful conversation during the evening. That conversation can be with a guy (see above) or with a lady. But, don’t put pressure on yourself to talk with a lady right away. Just talk, be cordial, the rest will take care of itself.
• Enjoy the music, ambience, the smell, the evening. Just take it all in. Be glad you can get out and enjoy life.

You’ll notice that none of my suggestions or goals involved having to meet a lady, dance, get a number, etc.. . All these things are out of your control, so no need to put pressure on yourself. Control what you can(your own actions) and leave the rest to.. the rest.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Do Not Hover (after the first dance)

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

For some reason, some guys have a tendency to hover.

I was at one of my favorite places last Wednesday night – Blue Martini – and noticed some guys hovering around a couple of ladies I knew. Evidently these two guys danced with these ladies, no problem there, but afterwards they just hung around – too long.

I think this is a tendency with guys. We get a little positive feedback, then latch on.

I say, do your thing, get in your dance or two, then push off. Never hover around a gal, even if you like her, and even if she likes you. If it is meant to be, you can come around and catch up to her later. And, there are a couple other good reasons not to hover.

First, you never know who else is at the club. Maybe your soul mate is out there just waiting, or if not your soul mate, your mate for the evening. Regardless, it is better to bounce around the club a little to see who is in the crowd.

Secondly, never make yourself too available, and hovering around does just that. Let the girl wait a little and wonder if you are coming back. Simply, let her know you enjoyed the dance, wish her a good evening, and say you hope to catch up with her later. Then push off. If it is meant to be you’ll see her later.

Don’t be needy and hovering has the appearance of neediness.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Guys Dancing on Risers – Just Say No!

Sunday, March 24th, 2013

Must I really even do a blog regarding this subject? Evidently yes.

I‘ll keep this one short and sweet. If you are a guy do not, DO NOT dance on a riser at the club! I don’t care if it is your birthday, don’t care if you got a raise, don’t care if you just made $20M on the sale of your company. I even don’t care if your body banging the hottest girl in the club on that riser. Just say no. Whatever in your mind tells you that it would be cool to jump up on that thing and shake your ass in front of the entire club; ignore that impulse.

Risers were designed, made and placed in the club for one thing only – for sexy women. Let the girls do the work guys, you just enjoy. So next time you tie on a few cold ones and get the great idea to jump up there and shake your thing, just say no!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Friday, March 1st, 2013

Sure, this title is a shameless play on the Cyndi Lauper 80’s classic – Girls Just Want to Have Fun. But, what the hell, so be it.

Girls at times are a hoot to watch dancing in the clubs. Yes, they are sexy, slutty, sultry, etc., but they are also just plain FUN! I noticed a group of three girls dancing with themselves a few weeks ago and they were having a blast. It was reminiscent of kids playing just to play. You know, before kids try to be cool. There is a certain purity when we play for just play sake, or in this instance, dance for just dance sake.

Now, this may be reverse sexism, but this would have been just plain weird if it were a group of guys. Sorry, perhaps I am enlightened enough to appreciate the fact that guys can just ‘play’ also, but so be it. Guys dancing in a group to me equals weird, but something about a group of ladies just dancing and enjoying life so effortlessly, now that seems fun.

These three ladies were probably in their mid to late 20’s, they were dressed nice, and they all three had girl next door cute looks. They could easily been dancing with guys and in fact I did see a couple brave guys approach them (never an easy task when you have a group of gals), but they wanted to just dance (’play’) with each other.

These gals were teasing each other in fun ways, dancing weird at times (on purpose), just having a terrific time and enjoying each other. Clubs can be crazy and full of attitude, at times they are difficult to navigate. But, these three gals kept it pure. They kept it fun.

Girls just want to have fun!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Be ‘Present’

Tuesday, January 29th, 2013

So, my friend DJ (yes DJ form The Club Rules) and I were at Talking Stick Resort(TSR) recently. We were at the bar just off the casino floor. This is a cool little bar, with a guy who plays guitar on Friday and Saturday nights. We just so happened to go on a night where there was convention at TSR, so the bar was a little more crowded than usual, never a bad thing.

I walk up to the bar to order a beer, picking a strategic spot to place my order. The ‘strategic spot’ is of course next to the cutest gal at the bar. [Well, maybe not ‘cutest’ or ‘hottest’ girl, but next to a gal that would be in my ‘target market’.] So, I lean over to order my Blue Moon and the gal next to me is playing on her phone. What? Playing on your phone when there is so much of the real world in full bloom right around you. I just could not let that go.

She looked up at me while I squeezed in and I simply asked why she was on her phone when so much was going on around her? I wasn’t rude about it, just used the obvious situation as an occasion to strike up a conversation. Evidently her iPhone was popping, she was simultaneously playing several games. Clearly this gal had talent, but I would suggest that talent would be better left at home when there are not so many options right in front of you.

Well, it turns out that Ms. N (not named to protect the innocent/guilty) and I had a terrific conversation. Her friend was also there, and both gals really took to DJ as well. The four of us chatted for the remainder of the evening, and we all four exchanged numbers for a possible future rendezvous. I’d say that was a good evening all the way around.

Be present and you may get a present.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Watch Your Trucker Mouth

Sunday, October 14th, 2012

Watch your trucker mouth.

You could be as bad a bad boy as they come, but there’s nothing attractive about cursing like a trucker. (No offense meant to truckers, of course. Sailor is easily substituted into that statement, along with numerous other professions.) Regardless, cursing up a storm doesn’t mean you’re a “bad boy.” It means you have a poor vocabulary selection

Avoid felling into this trap.

In The Club Rules, we touched on how women like “bad boys”, but we like the nice ones. An example of this is when I meet a guy at a bar or club. He could be sweet as can be, attractive, funny and possibly intelligent. If every other word out of his mouth is a curse word, however, I’m instantly turned off. I begin to question whether he is as intelligent as I initially thought. His eyes stop seeming quite as blue and his sexy five o’clock shadow suddenly seems more of a sloppy mess than part of his rugged mystique.

I’m not saying NEVER curse. I’m simply saying do so sparingly.

I was hanging out with some friends at McKoy’s Smokehouse and Saloon in Charlotte, North Carolina. Everyone I know who has been to McKoy’s is obsessed with their wings. The beer isn’t half bad either. So whenever we’re in the neighborhood, we make it a point to rush over in an almost greedy fashion to divulge in deliciousness. McKoy’s has a bit of a “biker bar” reputation, as can be seen by the dozens of Harleys typically lining the front of the building. It’s a nice place, despite the “bad biker” image, with nice people, and always leads to good times.

One thing about Charlotte that I’ve found is that the men seem to be more old fashioned, in terms of how to behave respectfully when there’s a woman present. In most instances, anyone I’ve met there has apologized for their French if they let the F bomb slip, even if they are decked out in motorcycle gear.

On this particular night, my friends and I were joined by a group of locals (who happened to arrive in a car, mind you). They were friendly enough, but as the night went on and the drinks were drank, one guy in particular stood out from the rest. And I do NOT mean because of his attractiveness or amazing humor. It was his mouth.

Every other word out of his mouth was a curse. He used curse words as verbs, nouns, adjectives, adverbs… it was as if his vocabulary contained 100 words tops, most of them curses and the others “me”, “I”, and “myself.”

Talk about a turn off. Not to mention that he stuck out like a sore thumb. Even his friends started to look a bit uncomfortable at his lack of communication abilities.

We didn’t stay to talk to their group for long. And (luckily for us and our remaining brain cells after having been subjected to such nonsense for a the evening), we have yet to run into that group again.

The same rule goes for you, ladies. The idea of behaving “lady-like” may be old-fashioned, but there’s something to be said about a woman who is able to express herself thoughtfully, without a slew of profanities. Intelligence is attractive. Allow your vocabulary to exemplify what a stable, hard working and thoughtful human being you are.

In other words, watch your mouth if you want to be taken seriously.

Mother trucker.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Accents = Sexy. FAKE Accents = STUPID.

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Accents are sexy. Just don’t be the guy using the FAKE accent to try to get the girl.

I met Eileen and a group of her friends for Fourth of July Festivities. She introduced me to everyone when I met them at the train. Alex was attractive and funny, albeit young, and we chatted on the train on the way to North Beach in Chicago.

The beach scene was like a rave (at least, a rave where a bunch of children were running around screaming and hyped up on pixi sticks.) We set up a base camp with blankets and towels, and Alex trotted off to scout the territory. The man was determined to score.

About an hour later, Alex returned to home base with his arm around a very attractive girl. He introduced her to us, and when I heard him speak, I froze in confusion. Alex had, at some point, acquired a British accent!

Being the good wingman and overall decent human being that I am, I opted to not say anything. When they walked away to grab drinks from the bar at the top of the beach, I questioned Eileen about his dialect. Eileen explained that Alex was from London, but he had moved to the states when he was a kid and had lost the accent over the years. He only pulled it out to pick up chicks.

Here’s my beef with this. If you meet somebody and tell them you’re from London, they will unquestionably ask why you don’t have an accent. THAT’S your chance to bust it out. But to start with it and use it as an opener is deceitful. Your friends/acquaintances could call you out on it in front of the girl (or guy) and make you look like a total tool.

And tools don’t get laid

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Don’t be the girl with baggage…literally

Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Don’t be the girl with the suitcase-sized purse and bulky coat asking her friends to watch her stuff all night.

Over the past few years, purse styles have been growing larger and larger. I, myself, am guilty of dragging around everything from a book to a bottle of water or extra can of Diet Coke in my bag. Just because I CAN, though, doesn’t mean I SHOULD. Especially if I’m going out for a night on the town. Clutches were invented for a reason.

About a month ago, I was hanging out with a few friends at a bar/club in Chicago that advertised live music. The place was packed and our group was relatively large. It was the first night I met Britney, a girl one of my guy friends had recently started dating. Initially, I liked her. She was nice, attractive, and she seemed to be genuinely interested in my friend. As the night wore on, however, that initial impression slowly faded into an irritated hatred…all because of her purse.

We had found a table to claim as home base, but it wasn’t nearly large enough for all of us at once, so we rotated having a few people guarding the table while the rest of us were moving about, getting drinks, dancing and being social. Britney plopped her suitcase-sized purse on one of the stools before trotting off to the dance floor.

Personally, I wanted to dance myself. But I was the only one sitting at the table guarding the jackets, and Britney’s giant bag. People came and went, stopping by the table to grab sips of their drinks or sit for a minute or two, but I couldn’t in good conscience just grab my small hand clutch and go to the dance floor and leave her obviously expensive purse unattended.

There is no reason to bring everything you own out to a bar or a club. Downsize. Hell, you can even just throw your ID and a debit card and some cash in your bra. But seriously, don’t bring a suitcase sized bag with you and expect someone else to watch it all night.

It’s rude.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Don’t be the drunk guy at Jimmy O’s in Del Mar

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

No, this is not about Johnny Mac. I can’t even believe you were going there. I am RARELY the drunk guy. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the drunk guy is the best person to be, for about 23 minutes. Yeah, you have your moment in the prime time, you know… the karaoke moment, the time you approach the ‘way too hot for you girl’, the time you are absolutely fabulous on the dance floor, amongst other claims to fame. But, are those 23 minutes of fame really worth it?

(more…)

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Crave Lounge. Too much of a good thing.

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

My girlfriend and I decided to head out on a Monday night. Just a last minute thing as we got an invite from another couple we like to hang with. So, we’re off to Tempe on a Monday night. [Fyi.. Tempe is a cool little college town just next door to Phoenix, and the home of Arizona State. Go ‘Devils’.] Actually, going out on a Monday night, while not common with us is not too out of the normal. My girl is a nurse and as such has a flexible schedule, and I am self-employed, so depending on my schedule, it’s all good to me.

(more…)

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS