The Club Rules Blog

Heading Out Solo

Some of my best nights in the club are when I am solo. Alone, but not ‘lonely’ as they say. This may sound strange, but it is definitely true.

Why is this? It seems you would do better with your friends, or a ‘wing man’, and of course this is true often enough. But there is something about being out there by myself that gets my blood pumping.

So, what are some ideas or tips I have on this subject?

• Just do it. I don’t care if your friend bails on you at 8pm, it doesn’t matter that you have to drive 30 minutes all by your lonesome. Just get out there. Hey, if you stay home you know what will happen – nothing! At least if you get out there you can stir the pot a little, and maybe get into a little ‘good’ trouble. [Note. This is speaking from a guy’s standpoint of course. In theory I think the same should apply to women. However, I would clearly suggest that women tame more precaution when out alone.]
• Find a guy to talk to. Yes, I am straight and very secure in my sexuality, so I can say this. Why put pressure on yourself to meet a lady right away. Maybe meet a guy or two, who knows, you may find a new wing man. I remember being at one of my favorite clubs Blue Martin several months back. I was solo. I noticed a cool European looking guy at the bar. We started chatting, hung out. I met a new friend, Cengiz from Turkey. When I left Cengiz it was around 2 and my last view of him was as he was sandwiched between two 30something babes on the dance floor. I was definitely glad I went out solo that night.
• Give yourself a goal to have at least one meaningful conversation during the evening. That conversation can be with a guy (see above) or with a lady. But, don’t put pressure on yourself to talk with a lady right away. Just talk, be cordial, the rest will take care of itself.
• Enjoy the music, ambience, the smell, the evening. Just take it all in. Be glad you can get out and enjoy life.

You’ll notice that none of my suggestions or goals involved having to meet a lady, dance, get a number, etc.. . All these things are out of your control, so no need to put pressure on yourself. Control what you can(your own actions) and leave the rest to.. the rest.

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Sunday Services

Surely, once a week we carve out time for others. We can fellowship with our fellow brethren and take time to relax and reflect on our week and our contribution to society. Sunday after all is a day of rest.

So, whether Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, non-affiliated or affiliated in all the wrong ways (such as myself), take time out on Sunday for ‘Sunday Services’.

My favorite ‘house’ of worship for Sunday Services is the Modern Tequila Bar in Tempe Arizona. Yes, you can catch the early service, but I prefer the ‘Happy Hour’ service from 4-6:30. You can’t beat the prices. I typically leave with a bill in the $20’s; and that includes several house margaritas and taco’s, what a deal.

So, whether you are affiliated or non-affiliated such as myself, get out for Sunday Services with your fellow brethren. Reflect and relax, enjoy the sights and sounds. And, if you see someone you do not know, reach out and say Hi. The world could always use more fellowship!

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Do Not Hover (after the first dance)

For some reason, some guys have a tendency to hover.

I was at one of my favorite places last Wednesday night – Blue Martini – and noticed some guys hovering around a couple of ladies I knew. Evidently these two guys danced with these ladies, no problem there, but afterwards they just hung around – too long.

I think this is a tendency with guys. We get a little positive feedback, then latch on.

I say, do your thing, get in your dance or two, then push off. Never hover around a gal, even if you like her, and even if she likes you. If it is meant to be, you can come around and catch up to her later. And, there are a couple other good reasons not to hover.

First, you never know who else is at the club. Maybe your soul mate is out there just waiting, or if not your soul mate, your mate for the evening. Regardless, it is better to bounce around the club a little to see who is in the crowd.

Secondly, never make yourself too available, and hovering around does just that. Let the girl wait a little and wonder if you are coming back. Simply, let her know you enjoyed the dance, wish her a good evening, and say you hope to catch up with her later. Then push off. If it is meant to be you’ll see her later.

Don’t be needy and hovering has the appearance of neediness.

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Guys Dancing on Risers – Just Say No!

Must I really even do a blog regarding this subject? Evidently yes.

I‘ll keep this one short and sweet. If you are a guy do not, DO NOT dance on a riser at the club! I don’t care if it is your birthday, don’t care if you got a raise, don’t care if you just made $20M on the sale of your company. I even don’t care if your body banging the hottest girl in the club on that riser. Just say no. Whatever in your mind tells you that it would be cool to jump up on that thing and shake your ass in front of the entire club; ignore that impulse.

Risers were designed, made and placed in the club for one thing only – for sexy women. Let the girls do the work guys, you just enjoy. So next time you tie on a few cold ones and get the great idea to jump up there and shake your thing, just say no!

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Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Sure, this title is a shameless play on the Cyndi Lauper 80’s classic – Girls Just Want to Have Fun. But, what the hell, so be it.

Girls at times are a hoot to watch dancing in the clubs. Yes, they are sexy, slutty, sultry, etc., but they are also just plain FUN! I noticed a group of three girls dancing with themselves a few weeks ago and they were having a blast. It was reminiscent of kids playing just to play. You know, before kids try to be cool. There is a certain purity when we play for just play sake, or in this instance, dance for just dance sake.

Now, this may be reverse sexism, but this would have been just plain weird if it were a group of guys. Sorry, perhaps I am enlightened enough to appreciate the fact that guys can just ‘play’ also, but so be it. Guys dancing in a group to me equals weird, but something about a group of ladies just dancing and enjoying life so effortlessly, now that seems fun.

These three ladies were probably in their mid to late 20’s, they were dressed nice, and they all three had girl next door cute looks. They could easily been dancing with guys and in fact I did see a couple brave guys approach them (never an easy task when you have a group of gals), but they wanted to just dance (’play’) with each other.

These gals were teasing each other in fun ways, dancing weird at times (on purpose), just having a terrific time and enjoying each other. Clubs can be crazy and full of attitude, at times they are difficult to navigate. But, these three gals kept it pure. They kept it fun.

Girls just want to have fun!

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Country is Cool

Alright, I said it. Country is cool!

Within the last few months I have been to three, yes count them, three country bars: Gilley’s in Las Vegas, The Double Deuce in the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego, and a local place, Harolds’s Corral in Cave Creek, AZ.

Last night at Harold’s there was this cool country band called Mogollon. (Named from the mountain range and American Indians here in Arizona .) Harold’s was cool – good food, a couple bars, and a nice sized dance floor. The band was cool. I mean , this band did country favorites, Johnny Cash, and the ultimate rock classics such as All Right Now by Free. Add to that, a couple violins (I mean, to be a respectable country band you have to have violins, right?) and an electric upright base and you’ve got the full package.

I used to be skeptical of country bars – there are a bunch of boring old folks, too may Wrangler jeans and cowboy boots, but I was wrong. Yes, there are probably more Wranglers and boots than my preference, but what the hell. These folks rock out!

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Dance Floor Threesome?

Alright, so I am out with my friend DJ the other night at one of our ‘regular’ joints, Blue Martini in Scottsdale, AZ. It’s Wednesday night, ladies night, and the place has a nice crowd. I’m just in a chill-out mood, not in the mood to meet anyone, I just want to enjoy some of the live music and dj mixes.

I notice a cute couple on the dance floor that are in their mid-40’s. She is sexy and definitely cougar material and he is a cool looking cat himself. He’s not the best dancer, but he’s doing just fine enjoying his night with his sexy wife. Hey, 90 percent (make that 95 percent) of married men would gladly change places with him that’s for sure. I certainly doubt he will be in sleep by 11pm mid Leno.

So, no big deal, just a basic observation.

Well, I notice the same guy with his same sexy wife about 30 minutes later, but this time they have another girl dancing with them. But, what I really noticed was how awkward this guy looked now. Now, this new gal is just as sexy as his wife, early 30’s, short skirt, sexy legs… you get the picture. On paper this clearly sounds like an upgrade. This dude just doubled his chick quota!

But, as we all know in business, in life, and with The Club Rules, the paper quotient does not always match the true outcome. In this case E does not equal mc2. For some reason when you introduce another gal to the picture, it makes the vibe a little more awkward. I was watching this guy trying to dance with these two gals and whereas prior, he was straight on dancing/grinding his wife, now he and the two ladies were doing some sort of triangle dance mid floor. I actually felt sorry for this guy. I wanted to throw him a beer and suggest he come sit in the dugout for awhile.

It reminded me of the times I was in a similar situation. Yes, at times dancing with two gals is fun. I can remember a few times where a nice sandwich was going on, and a few others where multiple body parts were being grabbed, rubbed, etc.. whatever did not violate the dance club rules of conduct. But, the majority of the time the best times have occurred with gold old fashioned one on one action.

Dancing with two girls is like a threesome. It sounds good until you try it.

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Enjoy the vibe. Don’t get hung up on the small stuff.

My Mother and Father were married for over 40 years before she passed away. When I asked my Mom what the secret to a long and happy marriage was she would say: “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff.” Wise words from a wise woman.

I was at one of my favorite clubs in Scottsdale, Blue Martini, on Saturday night. It was packed, I mean like New Year’s Eve packed, and it was not even 10pm. I got wind that there were two large birthday parties there and so I ‘m sure that is the reason for the crowd.

The place was crowded, but it had an excellent vibe. Not sure how else to explain it; the band was hot, the people were fun, lot of action going on all around me. This place is chaos, yet peaceful.

Sure, if you focus on some of the less enjoyable parts of a crowded bar, things may not seem quite as lovely. There’s always the drunk guy (or guys), there’s always that wayward drink that spills a little (or shatters on the dance floor), there is always the too drunk girl with that dress she REALLY should have left at home (or, at least until she lost that extra 15 pounds),and there is always the cougar with a few too many ‘enhancements’, soon to be followed up by the older guy who is gawking little too much.

But, despite these ‘drawbacks’, this is the coolest place in the world. The music, the energy, the relationships are all right in front of you for the taking. No pressure, just say Hi, introduce yourself, have a little fun. Enjoy the vibe. Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it is all small stuff.

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Be ‘Present’

So, my friend DJ (yes DJ form The Club Rules) and I were at Talking Stick Resort(TSR) recently. We were at the bar just off the casino floor. This is a cool little bar, with a guy who plays guitar on Friday and Saturday nights. We just so happened to go on a night where there was convention at TSR, so the bar was a little more crowded than usual, never a bad thing.

I walk up to the bar to order a beer, picking a strategic spot to place my order. The ‘strategic spot’ is of course next to the cutest gal at the bar. [Well, maybe not ‘cutest’ or ‘hottest’ girl, but next to a gal that would be in my ‘target market’.] So, I lean over to order my Blue Moon and the gal next to me is playing on her phone. What? Playing on your phone when there is so much of the real world in full bloom right around you. I just could not let that go.

She looked up at me while I squeezed in and I simply asked why she was on her phone when so much was going on around her? I wasn’t rude about it, just used the obvious situation as an occasion to strike up a conversation. Evidently her iPhone was popping, she was simultaneously playing several games. Clearly this gal had talent, but I would suggest that talent would be better left at home when there are not so many options right in front of you.

Well, it turns out that Ms. N (not named to protect the innocent/guilty) and I had a terrific conversation. Her friend was also there, and both gals really took to DJ as well. The four of us chatted for the remainder of the evening, and we all four exchanged numbers for a possible future rendezvous. I’d say that was a good evening all the way around.

Be present and you may get a present.

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Dressing for a night out

Alright, dare I go here? Dare a straight guy write a blog about dressing for a night out? The intelligent answer is ‘No’, but what the hell, let’s go for it. So, take this for what it’s worth. (A penny for your thought?)

Dressing is important as it not only gets us in the right mood, but it projects who we are. Yes, it is important who we are on the inside, but surely that great person on the inside wants to dress well so the outside matches?

For guys it is really not too hard. You can do a lot with a little. This is one area where it is much easier to be a guy. Yet, sadly, so many guys blow it still. One simple rule of thumb – It is always better to dress nice. I am not saying sport those Dockers and blue tie at the club Friday night, but T-shirts and tennis shoes have got to stay home. Guys have it easy, all we basically need are:
- Couple pairs of nice shoes (black and brown).
- 2-3 pair of nice jeans
- Black and/or other color of more dressy slacks (not business slacks)
- 5-6 nice shirts
- 1-2 blazers
Yes, yes, I know there are many more items, but these are the basics. You can add some ‘dress’ sneakers, vests, mi x in a tie now and then, etc, etc. But those are the basics. Like I said, guys have it easy.

Now for the ladies. Like all things involving the ladies, things are much more tricky. I may be wrong here, but I say dress for your mood and the event. I say this as I am out and about quite often. I can be at a formal/semi-formal fundraiser or a wild night on the town, in each of these I see some terrific ladies. Some really look terrific, and some miss the mark.

I am probably taking a much too much analytical approach to this, but when I think of how ladies dress, I think of two scales. Scale one is how dressy or casual they are and scale two is how sexy or conservative they are. So, bear with me here. With these two scales, we are left with four quadrants.
- Dressy and Conservative
- Casual and Conservative
- Dressy and Sexy
- Casual and Sexy

So, depending on your e mood and the event, you’ll be in primarily one of these quadrants. Or, if you are a real pro, you’ll layer or ‘de-layer’ to move between the quadrants as the fay/evening or your mood or alcohol level changes. [My personal ‘de-layering’ strategy is the transition from the Dressy / Conservative to the Dressy / Sexy – Off go the panties and blazer. Now we’re down to business.]

Not that this is the end all be all, but this just helps me as I look survey the field of lovely ladies. Each quadrant occupies an important event or part of the day, and dressing for each should be thought through. It is evident that some gals get this right. They are really thoughtful and they take the time to dress for the event and the mood they are in. Others’ seem to make little effort.

So, in the course of my day, whether I am solo or spending time with a lady friend, some of the events and moods may look like this:
Dressy and Conservative: Attending a fundraiser or business event. She looks good, conservative, but nice. Maybe a little sexy is trying to sneak in, but not too much. Like a good book, just makes me want to hang around a little more.

Casual and Conservative: Maybe this is lunch with friends/family or shopping. I often refer to this as ‘cute and colorful’. We can’t be too sexy here, so what we hold back on the sexy, we can pump up with the color. A little leg and/or cleavage is OK, but not too much.

Dressy and Sexy: My personal favorite, well I guess anything on the sexy scale is my favorite if the truth must be told. I think of this as the Saturday night sexy dress or the ‘sexy wife’ look. I really mean that as a compliment as there is nothing slutty about looking sexy, though some confuse the two. The girl with this look dresses great, there’s just not too much ‘quantity’ to what she is wearing, it’s all ‘quality’ baby. She’s strong. She’s sexy, she knows what she wants, and she’ll probably get it. Panties optional, at least after midnight.

Casual and Sexy: Maybe this is the Friday night outfit, or just a more casual venue, or perhaps this is hanging with a group of friends. Short jean skirt, tight jeans, low cut top, bustier top, backless halter, the list goes on. This chick is hot and she knows it. Always a happy ending here, at least for her.

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The Club Rules Blog

Heading Out Solo

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Sunday Services

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Do Not Hover (after the first dance)

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Guys Dancing on Risers – Just Say No!

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Girls Just Want to Have Fun

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Country is Cool

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Dance Floor Threesome?

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Enjoy the vibe. Don’t get hung up on the small stuff.

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Be ‘Present’

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Dressing for a night out

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